radical self-love = healing

I was preparing to head uptown to my mom's for Thanksgiving dinner, I reflected for a moment. For the first time, for as long as I could remember, I wasn't worried about going *home* for Thanksgiving.

I'll admit I was a tad concerned a few weeks ago until the concern turned into a confident composure which I watched grow into a slight sense of excitement.  

Naturally, LOVR a brand centered around love, first and foremost self-love for women, I guess you can self-love is kind of my thing.

And I thought I was good at it until I realized maybe I was just scratching the surface.

Self-love vs self-care.

Self-love is often purported as taking time for oneself, spa days, massages, mani-pedis, sleep, days off.

Which I agree all of the above are forms of self-care which can be an act of self-love. It's funny we live in an age where self-neglect is so commonplace that sleep and days off are considered self-love.

And again they are. However, it's just scratching the surface. Sleep, days off, spa days, vacations - are the acts of self-care that carve a space into the real work.

Imagine for example you had a lover that traveled often and came home bearing gifts, no questions of how you are, no communication during the long days and nights while they were away, and frankly no quality time upon their return.

Granted they may make sure to pay their portion of the bills (maybe even all of them) while they were gone, bring you gifts, maybe even comment and like a post or two on social media.

Some may argue they take great care for you.  The question is - do you feel loved? Is there another level of connection you are craving and desire?

Then the real question is - are you loving yourself or taking care of yourself. Not mutually exclusive yet I create the distinction here, as I've had to do for myself to access a deeper level of love for self and others.

I'll call this self-love, radical self-love. Because yes we've been working on self and practicing self-care and self-love and we don't want to dismiss that.

Now it's just time to level up by going deeper. 

Radical self-love involves healing. Taking the time to 'unpack' as a friend of mine would say hidden trauma, relationships and experiences we think we're running from yet follow us everywhere we go and allowing the healing to unleash a new level of you.

It's not that there's anything wrong with who we are today. It's just that sometimes, naturally as growth is a natural part of life, we feel the desire for more.

More love. More joy. More peace. More creativity. More self-expression. Another level of freedom.

Along with all of the above is a simple desire to become more of oneself. And this is where healing comes into play.

Whether that be through therapy, which I am a huge fan of, books, leadership courses, difficult conversations with self and others, radical forgiveness, yoga, meditation, or a combination thereof.

Whatever is your way - true self-love happens when you allow yourself to heal, forgive, and let go.  Which sometimes yes includes spoiling yourself and often time takes doing the work.